Today was the day I have been dreading. Even though I knew that Natalie would thrive in a "school" environment, I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving my baby girl with anyone other than family. I mean, this child has never been to day care and has had only one babysitter other than my mother in the almost two years she's been alive. Even then Chase and I asked for the babysitter (a friend of mines sister in law) to come over and meet/play with Natalie a few days before the actual babysitting day... which, by the way, lasted all of two hours. I don't know why I was worried, Natalie has always been a trooper and has never really seemed to suffer much, if any, separation anxiety (except when my Mother leaves the house, then all hell breaks loose).
When I woke Natalie up this morning (which was like waking a teenager) she immediately starting talking about going to school. She said "Nanayee go school, play toys, school fun!" Her excitement was overwhelming, I was happy she was looking forward to her big day and at the same time I was sad that my baby is becoming so independent. We got dressed and headed out the door.
Her class was starting their day on the playground, which I thought was brilliant. Most of the children were so enticed by the outdoor toys that they barely noticed their parents walking away. The preschool encourages the parent to give their child a loving and sincere goodbye, the theory being that eventually your child will trust you're coming back for them and therefore not cry; for many parents it's tempting to sneak away. As we walked up Natalie was greeted by her teacher and I had to struggle with her to get my goodbye in... she was ready to go, and away she went without a second thought. I walked away fighting the urge to turn around and choking back tears.
During Natalie's school day I went to the gym, took a long shower (without anyone pulling back the shower curtain and trying to get in with me, or emptying the entire contents of my bathroom cabinet), did laundry and got busy with some serious nesting. Nick's room is really coming along! Before I knew it, it was time to go get Natalie!
She got a wonderful report from her teachers. They said she was "marvelous", well behaved and kind. She only got upset once and that was when they lined up in their "train" to go outside again. They sang a little goodbye song and Natalie ran to me with open arms all smiles. She made three pieces of art, one of which tears my heart to shreds. It's her little handprint with a poem that reads "This is my hand. My hand will do one thousand loving things with you. You will remember when I am tall... That once my hand was just this small." Ouch. I used to think my Mother was a lunatic for saving all the tattered and yellowed "artwork" I made as a child, and now just glancing at Natalie's tiny handprint turns me into a blubbering idiot.
I know this is only the beginning, the book bags will get heavier, the days longer and the things that upset her at school will become more challenging; I feel so blessed that God has given me this beautiful challenge of being her mother.
